Bake Well Tarts
by Mightybooshrocks
Summary: What happens when John is bored and invites his friend round. Bit of Sherlock fluff and a misunderstanding.


I was sitting alone; if I was to be honest I was unnerved by the rain that was sloshing against the window and the wind that was howling, but I'd never say that aloud. Sherlock was out on a case and I was waiting for my only male friend from the surgery; Dean to come round for a beer and just a general catch up. Despite all this I knew why I was really unnerved, it wasn't the bad weather, or being bored from waiting for Dean to arrive…It was Sherlock, my Sherlock being out on a case all alone and possibly, well actually probably being shot at about now. He'd given me some time off because he said I looked tired, and I was tired but I'd rather be sleep deprived than leave Sherlock alone. Sherlock and I were together, as in together, together and it was amazing, but it also adds to the pressure of worrying about not only my best friend…but my boyfriend being in danger. We didn't get together in a lovey dovey way but he could be loving, actually he was loving…as well as infuriating, annoying, pompous, ignorant…no, no he was loving…most of the time. I didn't even want Dean to come round I was just bored, but of course that was a signal for Mrs Hudson to shout up –

"John! Deans here!"

I braced myself for the _**joy **_that is Dean.

"John!" shouted Dean in his rugby voice.

"Err…hi Dean, erm you good?"

"What you doing?"

"What? Well I'm standing…"

"No I mean what you doing over there come here" he said coming over to me and pulling me into a bear hug that I'm sure I'd have bruised ribs from the following morning.

"Oh right, is this what we do now…right" I said awkwardly as I gently patted his back a couple of times. Its times like this when I miss Sherlock's hugs…Dean thankfully let me out of the bear hug but not before giving me one brutal slap on the back. I'm sure this is classed as violence as apposed to friendliness?

"So Dean, what's going on with you?" I said flopping down into my chair, still basking in the afterglow of not have being crushed to a pulp.

"Oh not much, wife left me" he said nonchalantly sitting down on the sofa across from me.

"Oh god…I'm sorry, are you okay about it?"

"Oh yeah dude! She was a bitch anyway, only married her for her body!"

"Oh…right"

"Anyway want a beer?"

"Yeah sure" He tossed me a bottle of Carlsberg, which I gladly caught; if I was to spend an evening with Dean, Alcohol would be extremely appreciated, if not vital.

"Cheers Dean, so you sure you're okay with Lindy leaving you?"

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Screamed Dean "Shit…sorry John, didn't mean to shout, really I'm fine though"

"Erm, if you say so Dean"

"Sherlock you're soaking!" I heard Mrs Hudson's voice shriek from downstairs, thank god he's back! Maybe with pneumonia but he's back.

"Who's that?" said Dean…I'd forgot he was here.

"Oh just my boyfriend, Sherlock"

"I never knew you were gay?"

"Yeah…that a problem?"

"TOO RIGHT IT'S A FUCKING PROBLEM!" he screamed "Wait no, John, no sorry it's not a problem at all"

"Erm…okay…good" His mood swings were starting to scare me but I heard Sherlock's loud strides coming up the stairs so it was okay now.

"John! You okay I heard shouting?" he shouted striding into the living room whilst spreading water all over like a wet dog, when Mrs Hudson had said he was soaked she hadn't been kidding.

"Oh yeah that was me, I'm Dean" he said standing up from his chair "I was just saying…HOW IT'S NOT OKAY TO BE A GAY FAG…but of course it is, just mood swings you now?"

"Right…well I have no time for your mood swings, step away from that sofa so I can sleep"

"Excuse me who do you think you are some sort of god"

"Funny you say that, John was calling me a god last night when we…"

"OKAY! That's enough come on Dean we'll go in the Kitchen" I said pulling him off through the arch.

"Your boyfriend's a prick"

"He can just be…misunderstood" I said to Dean pushing him down onto a kitchen chair "Let me just go and check on him" when I went back through to the living room Sherlock was still in his wet clothes along with his coat pacing the living room floor.

"Sherlock what are you doing? And why are you still in those clothes?"

"Lestrade phoned me, another case and no point getting changed; going to have to go back out there in a minute"

"You are not having another case; you haven't slept in 4 days!"

"Eugh sleeps boring….GOT IT! See you later John!" he said running up to me and giving me a kiss on the cheek, but I grabbed his arm before he could run away and pulled him into a tight embrace. I needed him to sleep and I knew how…

"Sherlock please don't leave…for me, that Deans a lunatic and I'm scared of his mood swings, I want you so close to me" I whispered into his ear.

"What your really scared?" whispered Sherlock pulling away to look into my eyes.

"Yes, please don't leave me" I pleaded.

"Sh, its okay John, I'll stay"

"And…?"

"And get some sleep" he sighed.

"Thank you" I said giving him a quick kiss before sitting him down on the sofa.

"You're so wet and cold!" I exclaimed kneeling down on the floor as I pulled of his shoes and socks.

"I'm buying you an umbrella tomorrow" I said pulling off his coat, jacket and shirt.

"I'll only lose it, and you'll get into another fight with a machine at Tescos" I heard him mumble as I finally pulled off his trousers and laid him down on the sofa.

"Yes I know, I'm an idiot but you need sleep" I whispered laying a blanket over him and giving him a kiss on the forehead as I heard his breathing even out almost instantly. I loved watching him sleep, it was the only time he looked at peace but the silence wasn't for long as I heard a crash from the kitchen.

"Dean?" I whispered trying not to wake Sherlock as I ran back into the kitchen to see all the pans covering the floor, the majority of the cupboards were ajar and other little things were scattered around.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm hungry John! Have you got anything to eat?"

"Erm…yes but…why's the kitchen in such a state!"

"I was looking for food obviously! I'M FUCKING HUNGRY JOHN!"

"Okay, keep your voice down! Sherlock's asleep, I'll get your something sit down"

Fucking lunatic.

I went looking through the cupboards which were scarily bare, I was actually quite glad I had made Sherlock stay now because if I couldn't find anything I was actually quite scared of what he'll do…luckily in the last cupboard there were a pack of bake well tarts (Probably a bit out of date but I couldn't care less about giving him food poisoning at this point in time).

"There you go Dean, that's all we have I'm afraid" I said setting them down on the table and taking one from the packet. Dean just sat there and stared at them like I'd put a dead baby in front of him…

"Dean you okay?"

"Are these from Tesco John?"

"Sorry what?"

"ARE THESE FROM FUCKING TESCO JOHN!"

"Sh! Sherlock is asleep! Yes I think so why?"

"You stole these from me!"

"What?"

"YOU STOLE THESE FROM MY SHOPPING BAG!"

"What? What shopping bag, I didn't steal anything!"

"I came with a shopping bag" he exclaimed pointing to a Tesco bag that sat near the door "It looks of similar size John but I can see that the contents of the bag has gone down, is that right John?"

"What no! I haven't stolen your bleeding bake well tarts! You saw me get them out of the cupboard!"

"Yes but that could have been a illusion"

"An illusion of what? Me NOT stealing your bake well tarts!"

"Precisely. What? No you DID steal them!"

"Right that's it, Sherlock's a detective let's get him to sort this out, come on" I said hauling him to his feet and leading him into the living room where Sherlock was sleeping in a small ball still oblivious to what had gone on…what was still going on! I didn't want to wake him, he looked so sweet and peaceful…but this had to be sorted.

"Sherlock…Sherlock…SHERLOCK WAKE UP" I said shaking him awake.

"Whaaaat?" he relied groggily. I could already see his eyes trying to work out what the situation was but he was getting confused with lack of sleep, I felt so guilty for having woken him up but…I didn't fucking well steal his bake well tarts!

"Sherlock! Dean said I stole his bake well tarts!"

"He did steal my bake well tarts!"

"You woke me up…because of bake well tarts!"

"Yes!" exclaimed Dean "Stolen bake well tarts!"

"I didn't steal them!"

"SHUT UP EVERYONE!" Sherlock screamed in his 'Don't try and retort because I will win' voice. The room went eerily silent as I saw Sherlock's eyes skimming the room; he looked so tired; I'm going to have to make this up to him…

"Dean is it? Right your bake well tarts have fallen out of the bag and are hidden behind, between the bag and the wall" Dean walked over and picked the bag up to find the bake well tarts in there box untouched.

"Ah…so they are! Sorry for the misunderstanding John! Anyway got to be off, See you later" he said like nothing had ever happened and in seconds I heard the door bang and he was gone.

"You woke me up because of bake well tarts! Your both children!" groaned Sherlock throwing his head back onto the sofa.

"WHAT? Me the child? I didn't fucking steal his bake well tarts! I don't even like bake well tarts! Look!" I exclaimed throwing my bake well tart at the wall and watching it splatter.

"Come on John" I heard Sherlock whisper as he pulled me under the blanket and let my head rest on his chest "You are never getting time off again if that's what happens when you're bored!"

"At least I don't shoot the wall" I mumbled feeling myself drift off to sleep.

"At least I don't steal someone's bake well tarts" I heard him mumble under his breath.

"I DIDN'T STEAL HIS FUCKING BAKE WELL TARTS!" I screamed sitting up so I was leaning over him.

This was going to be a long night.

**This was my dream last night…and I love my brain for it. It was so entertaining for me! But I've probably ruined it with terrible writing…sorry. But I hope you liked it. :) **


End file.
